- A Border Control Checkpoint to Enter Your Own
The Legal Department of the
Department of Dreamland Security has finally finished
work on a Dream Agreement and Contract to Dream.
Please read it carefully. Any questions can be directed
in tenfold at:
S. Smith, Esq.
Orwell, Kafka & Associates, P.C.
1746 Wasteland, Suite 7564
Utopia, D.C. 10016
DREAM AGREEMENT AND CONTRACT TO DREAM
This Dream Agreement and Contract to Dream (this
"Agreement") is entered into as of [DATE ], [YEAR ], by
and between DREAMER, a CITIZEN OF REALITY ("Dreamer")
and THE DEPARTMENT OF DREAMLAND SECURITY, a
DREAMYOURTOPIA AGENCY ("Big Dreamer").
“BIG DREAMER” is hereby defined as he who is
watching carefully over Dreamer’s each and every step
and move, as well as protecting and serving Dreamer.
"BRAIN/MIND" is hereby defined as a tautology
essential to enter Dreamworlds and/or Dreamlands
(sub)consciously. Brain and Mind need to be closely and
carefully monitored to prevent Freedom of Thought, which
might result in Anarchist Dreaming.
“DOMAIN” is hereby defined as Big Dreamer’s
holdings in the Dream.
"DREAM" is hereby defined as that indefinable
something above and beyond Reality
"DREAMER" is hereby defined as the Seeker of
entrance to Dreamworlds and/or Dreamlands, and any and
all of his agents, representatives, employees,
executors, or dreammongers.
“DREAMWORLDS AND DREAMLANDS” are hereby and
collectively defined as those territories within the
borders defined by Dreamland Security.
"IMAGINATION" is hereby defined as a mental
condition which might prevent Dreamer from truly
realizing the Truth as stipulated in article 15.67 DG-F
of the Conventions of Utopia, as some Truth is more true
than other Truth.2
“INTEREST” is hereby defined as Dreamer’s
holding, whether nominal or actual, borrowed or
perpetual, in REALITY.
"LICENSOR" is hereby defined as the owner of
the Solipsism and the Gatekeeper of any and all
Dreamlands and Dreamworlds.
"LICENSEE" is hereby defined as the borrower of
the Solipsism, and that person desiring to enter
Dreamlands and/or Dreamworlds as protected and served by
"LIFE" is hereby defined as the so-called
reality of Dreamer, whether or not such reality is
solipsistic, egomaniacal, neurotic, borderline
personality disorderish, or any other dysfunction as
defined in the DSM-IV, and is the transitional territory
perched between the Mountains of Solipsism and the
shores of Reality.
"MORALITY" is defined as Solipsism.
"REALITY" is hereby defined as Solipsism turned
inside out, twisted, and analyzed by the philosophical,
scientific, and theological implications of the Meaning
of Life (the "Meaning"), whether or not such Meaning has
"SOLIPSISM" is hereby defined as Dreamer’s
"TRUTH" is hereby defined as a fiction inherent
in the Interest.
“UTOPIA” is hereby defined as being just around
WHEREAS, Dreamer is currently a citizen of
Reality and owns Freedom (the "Interest") in Reality,
wishing and entitled to leaving both Freedom and Reality
WHEREAS, Big Dreamer is the holder of the key
to that certain Dreamworld into which Dreamer wishes to
enter (the "Domain");
WHEREAS, Big Dreamer desires to grant a license
for entry into the Domain to Dreamer, and Dreamer
desires to acquire a license from Big Dreamer for entry
into the Domain to Dreamer (the "Licensee") pursuant to
the terms and subject to the conditions set forth in
WHEREAS, In return for the granting of the
License, Big Dreamer desires to be kept informed of any
and all details of Life in Aforementioned Dreamworld.
WHEREAS, Dreamer needs to live and fulfill
Dream exactly as mentioned and stated in Immigration
Form WXRZYQ SFG 23587-492 A
WHEREAS, Dreamer needs to notify Big Dreamer of
any change in plans and ideals in writing 20 days before
any such changes might occur.
WHEREAS, Dreamer wishes to fully obtain the
advantages and graces of Dream;
WHEREAS, Dreamer is fully aware of the
implications of Dream; and
WHEREAS, Dreamer is desirous of gaining
admission into Dream.
BE IT RESOLVED THAT the Parties intend to enter into the
In consideration of the foregoing Recitals and the
mutual promises contained herein, the parties agree as
follows (the "Agreement"):
1. LICENSING OF INTEREST. Upon the terms and
subject to the conditions set forth in this Agreement,
Big Dreamer shall license to Dreamer, and Dreamer shall
obtain and acquire from Big Dreamer, a temporary license
in and entry to the Domain.
2. DREAM CONDITIONS.3 In consideration of and in
exchange for Big Dreamer’s licensing of the domain,
dreamer agrees to grant big dreamer (i) all freedom in
his possession (the "Deposit"); and (ii) the sum of all
rationality and connectedness to the Interest; and (iii)
an irrevocable license granted indefinitely for
censorship of all Dreamer’s Dreams, for Dreamer’s own
3. CLOSING. Subject to the satisfaction of the
conditions set forth in this Agreement and compliance
with the other provisions hereof, the closing of the
transactions contemplated by this Agreement (the
"Closing") shall take place at the offices of Dreamland
Security, [PLACE ] [DATE ] [YEAR ] at : a.m./p.m., Local DreamTime (LDT), or at such other place and time as
shall be mutually agreeable to the parties hereto (the
"Closing Date"). At the Closing, Dreamer shall agree to
fulfill all conditions to Big Dreamer as provided in
Section 2 above. At the Closing, Big Dreamer shall
deliver to Dreamer (i) the License; (ii) the Dream; and
(iii) the written resignations of all Reality Managers
of the Interest designated by Dreamer from their
positions as Reality Managers; and Dreamer shall
thenceforth deliver to Big Dreamer one hundred percent
(100%) fee simple in the Interest.
4. REPRESENTATIONS OF DREAMER. Dreamer hereby
represents and warrants to Big Dreamer as follows:
(a) Dreamer hereby represents and warrants that
he is entering Dream for his own purposes, uses, and
idealizations, and Dreamer hereby purposefully releases
and indemnifies Big Dreamer for any force majeure,
including, but not limited to, nightmares, bedwetting,
night terror, or nocturnal emissions, and the fact that
altered states and (il)legal substances may interfere
with Reality, Dream, Imagination, and Solipsism, and as
well guarantees the full return of Dream to Big Dreamer
at end of same. Dreamer fully understands the
implications of Solipsism and its effect on Dreamer's
ability to be cognizant of Dream vs. reality, viz., the
eventual and wholly possible conclusion that Life qua
Life is Solipsism and Dreamer the Dream. Dreamer fully
releases Big Dreamer from any and all claims of tortious
interference with dreamscapes, fraudulent inducement
into daydream, or nightmare estoppel.4
(b) Dreamer is aware that the purchase of the
License in the Domain is speculative and involves a high
degree of risk. Dreamer is aware that there is no
guarantee that Dreamer will realize any gain from his
acquisition of the License and may lose all touch,
forever, with the Interest. Dreamer further understands
that Dreamer could lose the entire amount of his
investment in the Interest.
(c) Dreamer understands that no federal or
state agency or other authority has made any finding or
determination regarding the fairness of the offer, sale
and/or issuance of the License or has made any
recommendation or endorsement thereof or has passed in
any way upon this Agreement.
(d) Dreamer is neurologically able to bear the
mental risk of an investment in the Domain, including
the possibility of remaining in the Domain indefinitely,
and to afford a complete loss of his existence in the
Interest for any period of time. Dreamer has such
knowledge and experience in metaphysical matters as to
be capable of evaluating the merits and risks of the
acquisition of the License.
(e) Dreamer's purchase of the License will not
cause a violation of any applicable law, theological,
metaphysical, or philosophical.
5. REPRESENTATIONS OF BIG DREAMER
(a) Big Dreamer is an agency duly organized and
validly existing under the laws of its jurisdiction of
organization, and has all corporate powers and all
material governmental licenses, authorizations, permits,
consents and approvals required to carry out the
transactions contemplated by this Agreement.
(b) Big Dreamer is the record and beneficial
owner of the Domain, and will transfer and deliver to
the Dreamer at the Closing a valid License free and
clear of any lien or any other limitation or restriction
by through or under Big Dreamer.
(a) This Agreement is the final agreement
between the parties and constitutes the entire agreement
between them with respect to the subject matter hereof.
This Agreement supersedes all prior agreements with
respect thereto, whether written or oral.
(b) This Agreement and all rights and
obligations hereunder shall be construed in accordance
with and governed by the laws of Dreamyourtopia.5
(c) No provision of this Agreement is intended
to confer upon any person other than the parties hereto
any rights or remedies hereunder.
(d) Each party will bear its own costs and
expenses (including legal fees and expenses) incurred in
connection with the negotiation, preparation and
consummation of this Agreement and the transactions
(e) This whole agreement might not have any
legal qualities, but a lot of literal and imaginary ones
All legal notices or correspondence concerning this
Agreement shall be forwarded by FedEx or certified mail,
return receipt requested.
Legal notices or correspondence concerning this
Agreement might also be forwarded imaginary,
subconsciously or hypothetically, but in all those cases
a return receipt is required as well.
FOR BIG DREAMER:
S. Smith, Esq.
Orwell, Kafka & Associates, P.C.
1746 Wasteland, Suite 7564
Utopia, D.C. 10016
DATED as of the date of first written above.
THE DEPARTMENT OF DREAMLAND SECURITY, a DREAMYOURTOPIA
Title: Immigration Adjutant
DREAMER shall, upon his oath, affirm the following:
I, _________, do hereby solemnly and truthfully swear
and/or affirm that I am real, that my dreams are real,
that Solipsism is real, and that I will take due care to
respect and uphold the reality from which I will
emigrate. Under no circumstances shall I stay in Dream
for longer than I am welcome, and by no means will I
attempt to exchange Solipsism for Dream.
Attested to on this ____ day of _____, 200_.
 It is recommended that Dreamer
just stick to the Dream.
 Really, it is.
 Dreamer understands and fully
realizes requirement of dreaming in accordance with the
69 Amendments of the Dream Constitution of Utopia.
Refusal to do so shall result in immediate revocation of
License and Dreamer’s being forever trapped between
worlds, never fully awake and yet never dreaming,
resulting in Dreamer’s being so very tired.
 Any financial gains resulting from Dreaming will
remain property of Dreamer, but are subject to Dreamtax.
 All parties hereby agree that
these laws might be totally surrealegal, only
understandable in subconscious conditions, and that even
in those conditions there may be a lack of actual